You're a cow, it's your place to be milked.

After reading an execrable column by Polly Toynbee in The Guardian, which contained this gem:

A generation of voters has never heard the basic reasons why they pay tax, and why it is the most necessary and honourable part of citizenship. Why avoiding, let alone evading, it is dishonourable.

and then reading another article in the same issue where I learn that:

The government is working on a multi-million-pound blueprint to improve standards of coaching in primary schools to help create a new generation of footballers equipped with the skills to qualify for major tournaments.

Following England's Euro 2008 humiliation, the failure to deliver players with the right technical ability has been identified as the underlying problem. Clubs feel that by the time children reach their academies aged seven it is already too late to teach them the necessary skills.

Yesterday the two most senior government figures in sport - the secretary of state for culture, James Purnell, and sports minister, Gerry Sutcliffe - visited Fulham's academy to find out what the government can do to help tackle the problem.

I was inspired to write this letter to The Guardian:

Polly Toynbee, in Comment and Debate (Nov. 27) laments that a "generation of voters has never heard the basic reasons why they pay tax, and why it is the basic and honourable part of citizenship". Perhaps she could have pointed members of that generation to the Sport section (Nov. 27) where they could hear that the government is looking to spend millions of pounds to tackle the problem of native footballers lacking "the skills to qualify for major tournaments". It would then be clear to them that the secretary of state for culture and the sports minister (both essential government positions) need the resources necessary to solve such an important and pressing problem.

I'm doubtful that it will be published. I'm also doubtful readers of The Guardian will get the sarcasm.